In our last blog, we discussed the potential that everything our loved ones tell us may or may NOT be true. Today we are going to reverse that scenario. What if everything YOU are saying is not entirely true? Is that acceptable in good caregiving? You bet it is.
Momma likes to know where I am. She expects to hear from me at least once a day, and she wants to see me several times a week. I love this about her, but it can also cause me a bit of stress. We are planning two trips over the next few months. One of these is a working trip, and one is for much needed pleasure. Does Momma know all about these trips. Of course not! Why? Let’s look at the facts.
1. I could tell Momma about the trips, but she would not remember.
2. Telling her about the trips in advance would cause her undue stress for many days. She would question the details – When are you going? Where are you going. When are you coming back? And these questions would be asked many times.
3. Momma would stress about our safety while we are away, so I don’t want her to know about our trips.
This is where Therapeutic Fibbing comes into play. If she asks where we are, I will say, “Oh, we’re just hanging out at the house.” When she asks, “When are you coming to see me?” I will answer with, “We will probably see you tomorrow. What do you want to do when we get there?” In actuality, I might not be seeing Momma for 10-14 days, but I do not want her to know that. She will not remember our phone conversation the next day, so she will not be expecting me. However, I have left her hopeful and happy. I will turn the conversation to something funny that will leave her giggling.
Therapeutic Fibbing (or Divine Deception – it sounds more holy) is a tool that must be mastered. You need to think quick on your feet to come up with plausible answers or responses that will leave your loved one feeling hopeful and happy. That’s what it is all about. Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.
If you want the world to beat a path to your door,
try taking a nap on a Sunday afternoon!
Sometimes, You’ve Just Got To Laugh!